Ask the average person . . .

Ask the average person which is more important—making money or spending time with family—and practically everyone will answer “time with family.”  But just watch how the average person actually lives and a much different picture may emerge.

A lot of us seem to think that by leaving for work earlier each morning and returning home later and more exhausted, we have somehow demonstrated how devoted we are to our families.  After all, by working so hard, we are providing for them, aren’t we?  Well, in a sense, we are.  But what good is using up all of our time and energy to provide for our family, if what they really desire is the very time and energy we have just used up?

Ask the average person which means more—the approval of total strangers or the acceptance of loved ones—and that person may wonder how you could even ask such a question.  Obviously, the approval of those who already know us is infinitely more significant than the opinion of those who do not know us at all.

And yet, how often are we careful with what we say in the presence of others, for fear of what they may think of us, while paying so little attention to how we speak to the members of our own families?

If it sounds like our priorities are hopelessly confused; it’s probably because they often are.  We go chasing after success, only to discover that, once we have acquired it, it isn’t really what we were seeking.  And of course, the same would be true of wealth, or fame, or popularity, or any number of other things we go chasing after, thinking it will finally bring us happiness.  Oscar Wilde once wrote, “In this world there are only two great tragedies.  One is not having what you want; and the other is getting it!”

The Declaration of Independence guarantees our right to the “pursuit of happiness.”  However, with all due respect to Thomas Jefferson, I’m not sure that happiness can actually be pursued—or at least, it cannot be obtained strictly through pursuing it.  Happiness is always a by-product, not a primary goal.

In other words, instead of seeking happiness for its own sake, try paying attention to the things that really count in life.  What you may discover is that in taking care of those needs, your own need for happiness will also be met!