One way of defining the concept of shame is as a perpetual negative self-image. In other words, it goes deeper than simply feeling bad because you happened to do something stupid. Shame is feeling that, because you did it, you are stupid!

As a result, if you feel shame, you are often distrustful of others. No matter how many people compliment you, or sing your praises, you don’t really trust what they are saying because deep down you don’t believe it about yourself. Thus, you tend to be guarded around others, and wary of letting anyone get too close, because you are convinced that if the other person really knew what you were like, they would go running off into the night.

Shaming people was a very common practice in first century Palestine, but from what I read in the gospels, Jesus never participated in it. He called the Pharisees on the carpet for being hypocritical, and he became incensed when he saw how the sanctuary of God had been turned into a flea market. But he never shamed people.

Remember that scene when a group of religious leaders brought a woman to Jesus, demanding that she be stoned to death for committing adultery. “All right,” he said, “but let’s do it in an organized fashion. Why don’t you form a single file line, beginning with those who have never sinned themselves?”

After the crowd slipped silently away, Jesus turned to the woman and said, “They have all left. No one remains to condemn you, and neither do I—but don’t do this anymore, because you are worth far more than this.”

Notice that Jesus does not condone what this woman did. He is not saying, “Adultery doesn’t matter.” What he is saying is, “You matter! You have been created in God’s own image and you should act accordingly.”

Too often the church is perceived as intolerant and judgmental. And when you consider that the only time the church’s voice is usually heard these days is when we are condemning people, it’s easy to see how folks might get this impression. But as Christians, our calling has never been to condemn people. Our calling is to convert people—which cannot be accomplished by shaking our finger in their faces and saying, “Shame on you!”

Do we live in a world where people sometimes do shameful things? Of course. Should the church be speaking out against those things? Absolutely. But we do not live in a world filled with shameful people. Everyone—and by that, I mean everyone—is a child of God … and should be treated and loved accordingly!