Dr. Robert Crilley

Sunday, November 07, 2010

In 1923, the theologian Martin Buber wrote an immensely influential book entitled I and Thou. Buber’s main point in the book is that there are two different ways of relating to other people. We can see them either as objects (“How can I use this other person?”), or as subjects (“What is this other person feeling?”). In Buber’s terminology, if we view the other person as an object, we have an “I-It” relationship; if we view the other person as a subject, we have an “I-Thou” relationship.

Think of it this way: Let’s say that you are having lunch at a restaurant. The food is good; however, the waitress appears distracted. She asks you to repeat your order. She forgets to fill your water glass. She brings you regular coffee instead of the decaf you specifically requested.

How do you respond? Are you simply annoyed—maybe even to the point of not leaving her a tip or complaining to the manager? Or do you move beyond your annoyance, and begin to wonder what might be bothering her? Maybe she has just come from having a biopsy taken at the doctor’s office. Maybe she has a sick child at home. Maybe her marriage is falling apart.

In other words, do you see her as a fellow human being, who seems to be going through a tough time right now, or merely as a vehicle for bringing you your lunch?

According to Buber, to see another human being as an object—or worse still, to use someone as a means to an end—is a sin, because God never intended for us to have “I-It” relationships. The model for how we should regard one another, suggests Buber, is unequivocally demonstrated in how God regards us.

Simply put, God does not see us as objects; nor are we “used” to satisfy God’s needs. We are asked to be partners in establishing the kingdom of God here on earth—that’s true. But make no mistake; the kingdom of God will be established, with or without us.

The reason the Almighty keeps calling to us, and searching for us, and inviting us to take part in the work of the kingdom is for our own sakes, not God’s!