The percentage of us who will die one day is exactly 100%. We may not like to think of it in those terms, but there is no denying the fact that all of us are going to die.
Given this stark reality, you would think that we would have an easier time talking about death and dying. However, my experience suggests that most of us are uncomfortable with the subject. We don’t like discussing it, for starters—and even when the matter is unavoidable, we sometimes struggle with what to say.
Obviously, there is not a strict formula for determining the “right” way to speak to someone who is dying. Each of us is unique, and because of that, the relationships we share with our loved ones are very personal. But, in my opinion, there are plenty of “wrong” ways. For example, consider the statement, “If you have enough faith, you will be healed.” I have heard people (even some pastors) make this claim; and frankly, I can’t imagine how anyone, in good conscience, could ever say this to someone who is dying.
In the first place, it is horrible theology, because it assumes that the person’s worsening condition is directly proportional to a lack of faith, and that such a person could fully recover, if he or she simply showed a little “spiritual initiative.” The Bible never makes this claim. In fact, the Bible says just the opposite—healing is always a gracious gift from God, not a reward for the faithful.
But poor theology aside, how is this even a helpful thing to say? Telling someone just to “try harder” (or “pray harder”) in the face of a life threatening condition leaves the person feeling responsible for having too little faith, and guilty because of that, and maybe even depressed or angry at the unreasonableness of the demand.
Another statement I find troubling is, “We will each die when our number comes up” (a variation of this would be, “It was his or her time”). This often heard remark pretty much reduces God to a clerk in the deli section of the celestial supermarket, who occasionally shouts out the next number, while people in hospital beds around the world patiently wait their turn.
The Scripture has no place for such an image. The God we worship and serve does not “take” people away from their loved ones. Rather, the image the Bible presents is of a loving God who stands ready to welcome and accept us with open arms, when our bodies finally quit working.
As Leslie Weatherhead once observed, “There is ultimately no comfort in a lie.” Therefore, let us refrain from saying things that give people a false impression of God, and which have no scriptural support. Instead, in the moments preceding a person’s death, let us be bold enough to speak the truth … that, because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we know that death is not the end, and that we will all live again in God’s glory.
Given this stark reality, you would think that we would have an easier time talking about death and dying. However, my experience suggests that most of us are uncomfortable with the subject. We don’t like discussing it, for starters—and even when the matter is unavoidable, we sometimes struggle with what to say.
Obviously, there is not a strict formula for determining the “right” way to speak to someone who is dying. Each of us is unique, and because of that, the relationships we share with our loved ones are very personal. But, in my opinion, there are plenty of “wrong” ways. For example, consider the statement, “If you have enough faith, you will be healed.” I have heard people (even some pastors) make this claim; and frankly, I can’t imagine how anyone, in good conscience, could ever say this to someone who is dying.
In the first place, it is horrible theology, because it assumes that the person’s worsening condition is directly proportional to a lack of faith, and that such a person could fully recover, if he or she simply showed a little “spiritual initiative.” The Bible never makes this claim. In fact, the Bible says just the opposite—healing is always a gracious gift from God, not a reward for the faithful.
But poor theology aside, how is this even a helpful thing to say? Telling someone just to “try harder” (or “pray harder”) in the face of a life threatening condition leaves the person feeling responsible for having too little faith, and guilty because of that, and maybe even depressed or angry at the unreasonableness of the demand.
Another statement I find troubling is, “We will each die when our number comes up” (a variation of this would be, “It was his or her time”). This often heard remark pretty much reduces God to a clerk in the deli section of the celestial supermarket, who occasionally shouts out the next number, while people in hospital beds around the world patiently wait their turn.
The Scripture has no place for such an image. The God we worship and serve does not “take” people away from their loved ones. Rather, the image the Bible presents is of a loving God who stands ready to welcome and accept us with open arms, when our bodies finally quit working.
As Leslie Weatherhead once observed, “There is ultimately no comfort in a lie.” Therefore, let us refrain from saying things that give people a false impression of God, and which have no scriptural support. Instead, in the moments preceding a person’s death, let us be bold enough to speak the truth … that, because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we know that death is not the end, and that we will all live again in God’s glory.
posted by Dr. Robert Crilley at
6:29 PM
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