One of the most challenging things that Jesus ever said comes right at the end of the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matt. 18:23-35), in which a king forgives the debt of a certain servant (a debt so massive, incidentally, that the servant was never going to be able to repay it), and then discovers that this same servant refused to show similar mercy to someone who was in debt to him for a relatively meager amount. In anger, the king throws the unforgiving servant into jail—at which point Jesus says, “So my heavenly father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
On the surface, it seems like a lesson along the lines of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or to put it more bluntly: Do unto others as you would have God do unto you, because according to this parable, if we don’t forgive one another, then neither will God forgive us!
But frankly, I find this reading of the parable to be problematic. If the only reason I am forgiving my neighbor is to save my own neck, then it is not something that I am doing out of love but out of fear—and that doesn’t sound like something Jesus would teach.
When I think about forgiveness, I find that the primary reason I am able to forgive is because I have had the experience of being forgiven. That is, I know how it feels to have my debt cancelled, my credit restored, and my relationship renewed. Moreover, I am also aware that in order for this to happen, the other person has borne the cost.
In other words, forgiveness is never earned. It is a gift. If you ask me, this is what the unforgiving servant missed. He didn’t see the king’s gracious act as one of forgiveness. He just figured that he had outsmarted the old man and gotten away with it.
Think back to the last time you managed to talk yourself out of a speeding ticket. Did you regard it as being truly forgiven, or merely let off the hook? Did you understand it as receiving a gift that you really didn’t deserve, or more as the result of your own powers of persuasion?
If we tend to think of being forgiven as pulling a fast one, then we probably are not going to be all that forgiving of others. After all, fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me.
But forgiveness does not come about because you happened to fool someone. Forgiveness is the result of the other person—the one whom you’ve hurt, the one whom you owe—deciding that being in relationship with you is more important than getting even or settling the score. Simply put, the reason we forgive is because we know what an incredible experience it is to have been forgiven.
Hence, the point of the parable is not: Do unto others as you would like God to do unto you. The point is: Do for others what God has already done for you!
On the surface, it seems like a lesson along the lines of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or to put it more bluntly: Do unto others as you would have God do unto you, because according to this parable, if we don’t forgive one another, then neither will God forgive us!
But frankly, I find this reading of the parable to be problematic. If the only reason I am forgiving my neighbor is to save my own neck, then it is not something that I am doing out of love but out of fear—and that doesn’t sound like something Jesus would teach.
When I think about forgiveness, I find that the primary reason I am able to forgive is because I have had the experience of being forgiven. That is, I know how it feels to have my debt cancelled, my credit restored, and my relationship renewed. Moreover, I am also aware that in order for this to happen, the other person has borne the cost.
In other words, forgiveness is never earned. It is a gift. If you ask me, this is what the unforgiving servant missed. He didn’t see the king’s gracious act as one of forgiveness. He just figured that he had outsmarted the old man and gotten away with it.
Think back to the last time you managed to talk yourself out of a speeding ticket. Did you regard it as being truly forgiven, or merely let off the hook? Did you understand it as receiving a gift that you really didn’t deserve, or more as the result of your own powers of persuasion?
If we tend to think of being forgiven as pulling a fast one, then we probably are not going to be all that forgiving of others. After all, fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me.
But forgiveness does not come about because you happened to fool someone. Forgiveness is the result of the other person—the one whom you’ve hurt, the one whom you owe—deciding that being in relationship with you is more important than getting even or settling the score. Simply put, the reason we forgive is because we know what an incredible experience it is to have been forgiven.
Hence, the point of the parable is not: Do unto others as you would like God to do unto you. The point is: Do for others what God has already done for you!
posted by Dr. Robert Crilley at
9:30 PM
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