I read recently that most Americans cannot name even half of the Ten Commandments. That’s not terribly surprising, when you consider how biblically illiterate our society has become. But in this case, ignorance may be bliss—because if we actually knew the commandments, then we would all have to face the stark reality of how often we break them.

The most common misperception about the Ten Commandments is that they are the opposite of grace. They represent the law, which is restrictive and prohibitive; whereas grace is open and liberating. However, I would like to suggest that, in fact, the Ten Commandments spell out the implications of grace. Exodus 20 begins with the statement, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the house of slavery … therefore you shall (or you shall not).” In other words, the Ten Commandments describe a way of life that grows out of—and is in response to—God’s gracious act of freeing us from bondage.

The commandments themselves are pretty straightforward. The first four concern our relationship with God, and the remaining six deal with our relationships with one another. But if you ask me, the most difficult commandment is the final one—“You shall not covet.”

What makes this commandment so difficult is that, on the surface, it seems relatively benign. After all, people who covet don’t actually do anything wrong; they just think about something wrong. And if you’re just thinking about it, then where’s the harm? You’re not actually stealing someone else’s car; you’re just wishing you had it. You’re not actually cheating with someone else’s spouse; you’re just fanaticizing about it. No one is really getting hurt, right?

Actually, someone is getting hurt—namely, you! Instead of being content with what you have, you spend all of your time and energy focused on what others have, and always mumbling under your breath, “If only ….” “If only I had a bigger house … if only I had a better job … if only I was married … or wasn’t married … or married to somebody else.”

Of course, the advertizing industry isn’t doing us any favors. We are constantly barraged with commercials tempting us to covet those with thicker, fuller hair … newer appliances … more income … better bodies … and seemingly happier lives. But the truth of the matter is that none of those things are capable of bringing us happiness. If they could, then we would surely be the happiest and most contented generation the world has ever known, because never before in history of humankind have so many possessed so much.

So what’s the secret of avoiding covetousness? Well, I’m not sure that any of us ever avoid it altogether. But a good place to start may be by learning how to count your own blessings, instead of trying to keep track of everybody else’s!