In the West, scientists have traditionally identified four basic taste sensations: sweet, salty, sour, and bitter. In the East, two others are added—piquant (the sensation provided by, among other things, chili peppers) and savory. However, more recently, scientists have come to believe that our taste buds are, in fact, so sophisticated that the actual number of sensations may be quite a bit higher. Some people, for example, can taste the subtle distinction between the sweetness of cane sugar and the sweetness of corn syrup.

All of this has led many to suggest that, rather than enumerating our tastes, we might be better off thinking in terms of their being either simple or complex. The taste of sugar, for instance, is simple—it’s just sweet; whereas the taste of cinnamon is more complex—warm, slightly bitter, slightly sweet. Together, the two complement each other perfectly. The cinnamon adds depth and complexity to the sugar and the sugar mitigates the bitterness of the cinnamon.

Now, in case you’re wondering where I’m going with all of this, I often tell couples who are preparing to get married that there are two different kinds of love involved in a successful marriage. There is the blissful state of being “head-over-heels in love,” and there is the unconditional, “in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health” kind of love, which is exhibited in the wedding vows.

“Being in love” is a lot like sugar—it’s sweet, most everyone enjoys it, and too much of it probably isn’t good for you. Loving someone unconditionally is a lot like cinnamon—it gives the relationship complexity and depth, even though by itself it may not be all that appetizing. Ideally, in a marriage, you need both.

If the relationship leans too much toward the thrill of “being in love,” then it lacks the substance necessary to survive over the long haul. Like a “sugar fix,” it will give you a temporary rush, but there’s very little nutritional value in it. On the other hand, if the relationship leans too much toward unconditional commitment, then it may start to feel forced and become arduous and obligatory.

Of course, it’s tempting to think that “being in love” is the less significant of the two, and that only smitten, love-struck teenagers require it. But I beg to differ. I’m not sure that we ever outgrow the need to be swept off our feet, at least on occasion. We all yearn to experience that euphoria which quickens our pulse and makes our heart skip a beat. Indeed, from my experience, the deeper the commitment we make to someone, the more beautiful and enthralling that person becomes to us.

Suffice it to say, every marriage has its share of ups and downs. There will be days when you really have to work at loving the other person, because frankly, you don’t much feel like it. But hopefully, there will be other days when you can’t help but love the other person, because you are “head-over-heels.” Like sugar and cinnamon, the two kinds of love are meant to balance and enhance one another. If you move too far in either direction, you’re likely to wind up with a bad taste in your mouth!