I had a parent ask me the other day if there was a surefire method for teaching Christian ethics. Her concern centered on the fact that her children were about to enter adolescence, and she was understandably anxious about them being thrust into a world of mixed messages and dangerous temptations.

Needless to say, many of us—including myself—have asked the same question. In a culture whose values often seem to fluctuate more frequently than the stock market, how can we teach our children to make the right choices and follow the path that Christ set before us?

I find it helpful to remember that moral behavior is more than simply obeying a set of rules—Do this … Don’t do that! By way of an analogy, learning to be moral is somewhat akin to learning to speak a language. You do not teach someone a language by first teaching that person the rules of grammar. The way most of us learn to speak a language is by listening to others speak and then imitating them.

The rules of grammar come later, as a way of enabling us to nourish and sustain the practice of speaking well. The same is true of ethics. If you will, ethics are like the rules of grammar. They help us to remember how to speak and to live the language of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

However, the primary way in which we learn that language is not by studying a book of grammatical rules; it is by imitating what we see and hear from those around us. In other words, I think the best method to teach our children moral behavior is by setting an example of that behavior for them.

Let’s be honest: If we are saying one thing and doing another, then chances are that our children will end doing what we do rather than what we say!